What else do you expect but for TIME magazine to defend the First Lady?

The rules are set in stone, and so the eagerly watching British media sputtered when the First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama, briefly put her hand on the back of Queen Elizabeth II as the two chatted at a reception. Etiquette is quite stern about this (“Whatever you do, don’t touch the Queen!”). In 2000 John Howard, then Prime Minister of Australia, got plenty of criticism for apparently putting his arm around the Queen to direct her through a crowd. He denied actually touching her, but photographs suggest that he came quite close. (Another former Australian Prime Minister did put his hand on the Queen in a similar circumstance and was later branded “the Lizard of Oz.”)

Of course, there are corollaries to this. One must certainly touch the Queen if the monarch offers her hand (though you should return this not with a firm handshake but just a touch). On Wednesday, Michelle Obama put her hand on the Queen only after the Queen had placed her own hand on the First Lady’s back as part of their conversation. So there is room for theological argument as to whether the American reciprocity of touch was allowable given the social dynamics of the situation. (Less explicable was when President George W. Bush winked at the Queen.) Still, the sight of anyone apparently touching the Queen with anything more than a limp handshake is enough to send the British (or traditionalists in the old Commonwealth) twittering.

Another defense for Michelle Obama, of course, is that she is not a subject of the Queen. (Australians, despite referendums attempting to turn themselves into a republic, still recognize the Queen as their head of state.) The First Lady of the United States is not required to curtsey before her or any other crowned head. In any case, the touch lasted just a second or two, and the Queen did not seem particularly perturbed — though she appeared slightly surprised as she drew away.

No, she’s not a subject of the Queen, that is correct. And no, she’s not required to do any of those things because of that fact. However, there is thing called manners and being respectful. Diplomatic courtesy, if you will. Not showing it in this way tends to upset our friends across the Atlantic. The Obamas don’t seem to care if they do that or not. They give them lame gifts and then ignore what has been long considered to be the proper way to interact with the Queen.

Liberals tore Bush a new one when he had the audacity to “wink” at the Queen over a flub in his speech. Why is it suddenly so acceptable to give her a gift — a gift that represents the American people and how we feel about our closest allies, mind you — you can buy at any department store for a few hundred bucks? Why is it suddenly so acceptable that you not curtsy to the Queen? Why is it suddenly ok to not bow properly to her? And why is it suddenly ok to manhandle an 83-year old woman?

Short answer: because a Democrat is the one doing it. See, now it’s ok because “grown-ups” are in charge. These are not grown-ups. These are not people with experience in dealing with others in a diplomatic capacity. They are, in short, teenagers whose parents have gone out for the evening and figured out how to open the liquor cabinet.